Welcome to Bowl Season–Part IV (New Year’s Day Edition)

“Nothing changes…on New Year’s Day.”–Bono

Check out Bono’s mullet from the Dortmund concert in 1984. That thing is a piece of work. The 80′s were a good decade because you could sport a mullet and leather pants and you were a rock star. Bono changed with the times, and that turned out well.

As for you, we’ve reached the midway point in the bowl season. When you wake up on New Year’s Day, you’re going to be way up, way down or close to even in your college picks. Should this be a time to deviate from the system? I’m the wrong person to ask. Just keep riding the underdogs and the SEC. You’ll be ok. If you are just now checking out the bowl picks, scroll down for Part I, Part II and Part III.

Also–there is a surprise extra bowl that I wasn’t aware of. The good folks at EagleBank (no space please) were waiting on the outcome of the Army/Navy game to decide if they were going to extend an invite to a crappy Army team or a crappy UCLA team. Guess who won? America won.

EagleBank Bowl–UCLA vs. Temple (Dec. 29) Line: UCLA-4

Don’t you like businesses (banks especially) that mix it up with the no space/capitalization branding technique? Alabama might have started this trend with AmSouth. We also had SouthTrust. Now we have ServisFirst (Which is a misspelling/no space/capitalization hat trick). My freelancing brand name is 25media. You can tell I’m serious because there is no space between the random numeral I chose for the name (25) and the business I’m in (media). That is six syllables, but if you hustle, you can get it out in five.

Rick Neuheisel is fired up for the EagleBank Bowl

EagleBank claims that their bowl will become “a new national tradition.” What are our other national traditions? And are they anything to be proud of? Most of our national holidays are associated with going to a shopping mall.

Maybe they are right–the UCLA vs. Temple game will be a watershed moment during a 34 game bowl season that serves as a tipping point to our collectively rediscovering a sense of national pride. For gamblers, it will (at long last) be an opportunity to pick against Temple in a bowl game.

(Quick actual gambling note: UCLA’s QB injured his shoulder vs. USC and is questionable for the game. If he can’t play a freshman will start in his place. I’m still taking UCLA).

Reason to pick UCLA: They are playing Temple.

Reason to pick against Temple: They are Temple.

Reason to watch: To cherish your nationhood.

Pick: UCLA

Outback Bowl–Auburn vs. Northwestern (Jan. 1) Line: Auburn-7.5

This game is being played obscenely early, so be sure to shake off the cobwebs and get to a television.

Northwestern has been solid this season. They have some great wins, and have been hot as a firecracker down the stretch. Naturally, pick Auburn in this one.

Reason to pick the Aubs: SEC.

Reason to pick against NW: Big 10.

Reason to watch: You’re awake.

Pick: Aubs

Capital One Bowl–LSU vs. Penn St. (Jan. 1) Line: Penn St. -3

I’m sure I speak for everyone by sending a big “Thank You” to Capital One for their “What’s in your wallet?” ad campaign. There are usually funny Vikings involved. And now you can put photos of your kittens on your credit card. That should help provide a distraction when you’re thinking about the crippling amount of debt you are under, or how much you hate the representatives of Capital One that talked you into increasing your credit limit. And they haven’t even eliminated the space between “Capital” and “One.” What a bunch of assholes.

And to top it off, there is no way to effectively pick this game. No way you can feel good about taking a team coached by Les Miles. Under any circumstances. You’d feel better about Penn St, but they lost to both good teams that they played (they did beat Northwestern, if you are in a charitable mood).

Can you really trust this man?

After rallying to beat Arkansas in overtime, I guess you can make a case that LSU is motivated and possibly excited about the game. Penn St might feel slighted by the BCS snub. And the “always take an SEC underdog regardless of the circumstances” applies. Anyway, please note my ambivalence about this pick.

Reason to pick LSU: You are determined to hate yourself.

Reason to pick Penn St: Nostalgia for Todd Blackledge’s “Taste of the Town” segment.

Reason to watch: Always sunny in Florida, makes you angry that you live in a cold weather town.

Pick: LSU

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl–Florida St vs. West Virginia (Jan. 1) Line: Florida St. -1

I’m vaguely familiar with the “bizhub” which is the product that you’ll see advertised approximately 430 times during this particular game. I thought it was more than a printer, but apparently it’s just a printer. I’m sure there is an angry discussion board on the internet where interns get together to make obscene complaints about the bizhub. I’m sure it’s good reading.

Kudos to the Gator Bowl for passing over teams that haven’t underachieved this season to select Florida State and their octogenarian coach (and Birmingham native) Bobby Bowden. In a related story, they sold all the tickets to the game.

Don't bet against Noel Devine

Here’s how this game breaks down: Florida State has not played well against two types of teams: ones that run the ball well (see, Clemson and Georgia Tech) and teams with athletic quarterbacks that are minor headcases (see Miami). Their defense has been beyond bad. Their offense has been explosive at times, but with Christian Ponder out, look for sputtering to occur. They don’t need sputtering, because, as I just mentioned, their defense is bad. Oh, and did I mention they are breaking in new defensive coaches for the game?

Reason to pick West Virginia: No turmoil, great running back.

Reason to pick FSU: Inspiring performance in tribute for the best of the coaching Bowdens

Reason to watch: Noel Devine might get 300 yards rushing.

Pick: West Virginia

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi–Oregon vs. Ohio St. (Jan. 1) Line: Oregon-3.5

I like that the Rose Bowl took themselves so seriously that they gave Citi second billing as the “presenting” sponsor. Sportswriters and old people are excited because this game features the Big 10 Champion vs. the Pac-10 Champion, without interference from the BCS (which sportswriters and old people also hate). The reason this game is called “the grandaddy of them all” is because it’s likely that your grandfather is the only one who remembers why this game is relevant.

Look, I don’t know what you got for Christmas, but you got a gift here. I was momentarily chafed when I saw that the line was Oregon-35, because I would have had to think about this pick for a while. But the line was Oregon -3.5 which is like God asking the question, “Do you like free money?”

Old people have a fondness for parades.

I could break down all the reasons to pick Oregon in this big, important game. Oregon beat the common opponents and Ohio State lost to them (USC and Purdue). Oregon has a better offense and defense. Jim Tressel hasn’t won a big game since the Maurice Clarett era. Come on, this is easy.

Reason to pick Oregon: Every conceivable reason.

Reason to pick against Ohio St: Every conceivable reason.

Reason to watch: It’s the grandaddy of them all. They have a parade in the morning. It’s an American tradition, like the EagleBank Bowl.

Pick: Oregon

Allstate Sugar Bowl–Florida vs. Cincinnati (Jan. 1) Line: Florida -10.5

What a crappy game. Florida is going to win. You could make a case that thinks Florida will lack motivation, but I have to think that the team is going to rally around the entire nation making fun of Tim Tebow crying on the sidelines of the SEC Championship.

Cincinnati’s best chance to win is to get Mardy Gilyard free in the secondary. Unfortunately, Florida has a shutdown corner in Joe Haden. What else does Cincy have? Not enough. Their defense hasn’t had to tackle an angry Tebow yet either.

And as a bonus, we get those commercials with the two idiots tailgating. Thanks Allstate.

Reason to pick Florida: One of these SEC picks isn’t going to work out, but not this one.

Reason to pick Cincinnati: Their coach quit on them? Not as much talent? Best player is matched up with a future NFL corner? Not a lot to like here.

Timmy Tim Tebow Time...

Reason to watch: It’s Tebow’s last game. Let’s try to remember the good times. Not the times when he was knocked around by Alabama’s defense. Not those times. Don’t think about those times.

Pick: Tebow

That wraps up the New Year’s Day Bowls. A couple of quick picks from the Jan. 2 games before we get to Part v, the finale of the Bowl Pool Extravaganza. It’s been a good ride so far. I’d like to thank the 8 people who’ve taken the trip with me.

International Bowl–South Florida vs. Northern Illinois (Jan. 2) Line: South Fla-4.5

Weird week for Jim Leavitt, one of the players alleged that he choked him. Then the dad of the player came out and called for Leavitt to be fired. Then the dad eased up and said maybe he didn’t choke him. Also, they have to travel from South Florida to Toronto. Not a good holiday season for the Bulls.

Anyway, your choices here are the fifth best team from the MAC or the sixth best team from the Big East. Good luck. Why are they playing this game?

Pick: South Florida

Papajohns.com Bowl–South Carolina vs. UCONN (Jan. 2) Line: South Carolina -4.5

The Magic City is happy to have y0u in town for the Papajohns.com Bowl. Historic Legion Field is the site for all of the exciting action. They used to play important football games there.

This actually might be a good game. I like the Uconn coach, he’s done a great job keeping his team together after the loss of Jasper Howard. The win at Notre Dame was great to watch, and not just because it was Notre Dame losing. I might even go to this game if it’s above 12 degrees.

Pick: South Carolina

Thanks for playing at home, kiddos. Now get back to work. JB